Shattered
by Erica265
Summary: When Victoria finds out that her dad has liver cancer her life turns upside down, and she becomes tangled up in ecstasy.


Chapter 1

Dinner

"Victoria!", my mother's shrill voice echoed upstairs. "Come down for dinner!"

I could already smell french onion soup, my favorite, and wondered what they were trying to bribe me into this time. If they asked me to babysit Matthew again I would have to refuse. It's practically child labor. I babysit for my two year old brother almost every Friday and this Friday I was invited to a party.

When I got downstairs to the dinner table everything was already perfectly set (as usual) and my mom, dad ,and brother were already seated. I had to think twice before sitting down. I knew I would shatter the image of a perfect family. I, Victoria, dressed in black skinny jeans, a black Marilyn Manson t shirt and black converse. They were all dressed fairly "normal".Unless you include the dorky "Kiss The Cook" apron my mom was wearing.

"Victoria!" My mother's stern voice shattered the silence. "You know better than to wear shoes in the house!"

Most of her rules I didn't have a problem obeying. They were all pretty basic. But without shoes my feet felt naked. I knew it was totally stupid, but I hated it. But instead of arguing I simply slipped them off and sat down. Perfect image shattered.

"So," my dad always tried to make small talk. "This party Friday...will there be boys?"

"Probably" I answered nonchalantly.

"Will Kaylee be going?"

"Probably not. Due to the fact she wasn't invited." I said with a smirk.

Although Kaylee had been my best friend since kindergarten she didn't exactly fit in with the "Emo" crowd I hung around with.

Just then I noticed a crease in my dad's forehead. This was odd. his forehead was usually fairly smooth- he never really seemed to have any problems or concerns . He was pretty laid back actually, but I could tell something was worrying him. Something big. Bigger than a stupid party.

When we were all finished my mom patted her mouth with her napkin daintily. I noticed she also looked worried ,and wondered what could be wrong. She set her napkin back on the table and glanced at my dad who nodded in what looked like approval but it was hard to tell with the worry that lined his face .

"Victoria, your father and I have something very important to talk to you about." She examined my face before continuing, "Do you remember how your dad went to the doctors last week?"

"Yes," I murmured "What's wrong dad?"

My father's eyes welled up with tears. He never cried. "Honey, I've been diagnosed with liver cancer."

"How bad is it?" I tried to keep my voice from shaking.

"The doctor says I have three months to live." A stray tear ran down his face as he watched my eyes fill and my lip tremble.

I stood up and ran out of the house before the tears began to stream down my face.

Chapter Two

Adrian

I ran blindly, my tears blurred my eyes. I ran into something, no someone and I fell back, somewhat bewildered.

"Victoria! Are you alright!" My sobs kept me from sighing in relief when I realized it was just Adrian. A guy from my crowd at school, my best friend.

"I...I ...I" I sputtered. I couldn't get the words out.

"C'mon," He helped me up, "I'll walk you home."

"No!" I protested. I couldn't go back there. Not yet. And he seemed to understand,

"Fine, we'll go back to my place."

He put his arm around me and led me in the opposite direction, towards his house. I shivered as the cool October air engulfed us.

"Here," he said, taking off the sweater he was wearing. It was ,of course, black.

"Thanks."I muttered slipping it on.

When we got to his house we were greeted by his mother who asked ,sternly, where he had been. But instead of answering her he grabbed my hand and pushed his way into the house. I tried to manage a apologetic smile through my tears but my face felt numb. She gave me a somewhat quizzical look in return.

Adrian's home was not at all how I'd expected it to be. For some reason I'd thought it would be rugged and messy like him, but instead it was very large and elegant. I tried to slip off my shoes before he dragged me up the carpeted stairway but he pulled me away too quickly. I looked back to see Adrian's mother shaking her head at us in disapproval, but she didn't say anything.

Unlike the rest of the house, Adrian's bedroom matched his personality exactly. His red walls were barely visible with all the posters that covered them. Random pieces of clothing were strewn across the floor. In one corner there was a huge shelf filled with cd's and in the opposite corner was an unmade double bed.

Across the hall I could see his older sister's bedroom in perfect order. No posters lining the walls or clothes left astray.

"'Scuse the mess" he muttered

"Why?" I asked absentmindedly almost forgetting my dad's condition

"What? I...." He looked surprised but he re-gathered himself and tried again, "I... don't think I know what you mean."

"Why do you choose to be..."Emo" when it makes you stand out from your family so much?"

"Well," he said sitting down on his bed and motioning for me to take a seat beside him "I think my sister tries too hard to impress my mom. That doesn't matter to me. I'm not going to be someone I'm not just to make an impression. And that's what I like about you. You used to follow other people's example and now you are just... yourself. But Toria?

"Yeah?"

"What about you?"he asked, "I remember how you used to be. What made you change?"

"I...well...it's so stupid but, one time I was at this park playing with my younger brother and I overheard these two little kids talking. They were four, maybe five years old," I guessed. "They were talking about characters in a movie. One boy said he disliked the character they were talking about and the other disagreed without any thought. It just brought me back to how things were. You know, being able to say stuff without worrying about what other people would think. Does that make any sense?"

"Yeah. Totally. You just stopped being who everyone wanted you to be. You stopped caring what everyone thought.

"Exactly."I confirmed.

"So..." Adrian hesitated

"What?"I prodded.

"Um... are you gonna tell me why you were crying? I understand if you don't want to." He added quickly.

"No," I said. "I guess you have the right to know." This time I was the one hesitating, "Tonight my dad told me he has liver cancer... he only has three months to live." I willed myself not to cry, I was calmer than earlier.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!"said Adrian "I thought it was something melo like your boyfriend dumping you or something- even though he'd be totally stupid to."

"Yeah...no...I don't date." I said, trying to change the subject.

"Ever?"he asked skeptically, completely oblivious to my recent subject change.

"It's not that I'm not allowed." I answered "The right guy just hasn't come along yet."

"Do you think _I_ could be the right guy?" he murmured.

"I..." I wasn't sure what to say.

Suddenly he began to lean in. I felt myself being pulled towards him. I closed my eyes and we kissed. He put his hand's through my straight, tangled hair and I put my arm's around his neck. We were still kissing when the door banged open. It was his sister.

"And who's this?" she asked with disapproval.

"Uh... Melanie this is my friend, Victoria. And Toria this is my sister, Melanie"

"Nice to meet you." I replied, though I could feel my cheeks reddening .

"So how long have you two been dating ? I thought you were 'just friends'" she questioned.

" As if you care. Besides we were kinda in the middle of something."

"Fine I'll go, but just be safe Adrian."she said as she turned to walk out the door.

"Where were we?" Adrian asked kissing me again.

We kissed and talked until he told me I'd better call my parents. I told them I was alright and would be staying at a friends house for the night. Surprisingly, they just told me to take all the time I need. Adrian let me borrow one of his shirts to sleep in. I loved the way it smelled. For a while I just laid in his arms, unable to sleep.

"I love you Toria. I always have" he murmured into my hair, breaking the silence.

"I love you too." I said without thinking because for once in my life I was sure of something and I was completely sure that I was in love with Adrian Costello.

Chapter Three

The Mall

In some places the mall is like a sanctuary. But not in Woodlands. Here the mall is full of loud and obnoxious people that never shut up. I love it. Whenever I have things I don't want to think about I go to the mall. The noise drowns out all my "bad thoughts". Although I had many bad thoughts that I needn't think about, somehow the contentment the mall usually brings was missing. It felt as if a piece of me was missing but I couldn't put my finger on what was causing me to feel that way. Suddenly my phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out and flipped it open. I had a text message from Adrian that read: 'Where r u? I woke up and u were gone.' I replied by asking him to meet me at the mall. It only took him about ten minutes to get there but to me it felt like hours.

When he finally arrived I jumped off the bench I'd been sitting on to greet him. He pulled me into his arms for a warm embrace and then held me a little further away so he could kiss me. The emptiness I had been previously feeling disappeared and I realized that Adrian was the only thing keeping me from falling apart. I needed him. I loved him. But even before now- before my dad got sick, before I turned "Emo"... Adrian was the thing in my life that was absent, lacking. I always thought that love would be your typical Edward/Bella romance. Boy meets girl, boy loves girl, girl loves boy- they are happy; in reality, of course, the boy wouldn't turn out to be a vampire that thirsted for the girl's blood. I had constantly imagined myself falling for "Prince Charming"- it would be love at first sight, he would sweep me off my feet and we would live happily ever after. Of course, though Adrian is my prince charming, he wasn't really the guy I pictured myself falling for. It obviously wasn't love at first sight, and there's no such thing as happily ever afters.

Adrian and I walked around the mall aimlessly for an hour or so, hand in hand. It was nice, to finally feel as if I had someone to rely on, someone to be my reason for waking up on Monday mornings. After my dad explained his..."situation" to me, I wasn't sure I'd be able to face school the next day. It only now occurred to me that Adrian and I skipped school completely; something I so rarely did, then. I'd forgotten all about the party that night and as we walked past my house on the way back to Adrian's , we stopped for some fresh clothes. My parents weren't home- thank God, I still wasn't sure if I could face my dad, I knew he didn't look different, but it would feel...odd...I guess.

When we got back to Adrian's house, my mom called. She said that dad was starting his first round of chemo that night. She also said that I could stay at Adrian's place again since Matthew was at the sitters' and she was going to be at the hospital with my father. It felt wrong to be going to a party while my dad was at the hospital but I needed something to get my mind off things. After I got off the phone, Adrian let me change in his room while he waited, politely, in the kitchen. While I was changing I could hear him and his mom arguing downstairs. She was upset about me staying there, but Adrian explained the situation and she backed down, a bit. His mom still wished he would sleep on the couch, but being as soft spoken a person as she is, he was able to undermine her authority. After I finished changing, I was somewhat uncomfortable going into the kitchen, a place where I had recently been discussed. When they saw me at the foot of the stairs they both went silent. Adrian then grabbed my hand and dragged me out the door without so much as a goodbye for his mom.

Chapter Four

Ecstasy

When we arrived at the party we could already hear the screamo music blasting inside. The house didn't really have neighbors, so we didn't have to worry about any "party crashers". Adrian and I had been slightly late and many people were already there. As soon as we walked in the door a girl from our group at school ran over. She was surprised to see Adrian and I holding hands but she congratulated us and acted as if she saw it coming.

The house was relatively large. All the big windows had been covered with thick drapes so no light could shine in. A large keg sat on the kitchen table and there was a lineup for whatever drink it was filled with; most likely beer. I was still sipping on my first beer about an hour after we'd gotten to the party. My cell phone belted out some Marilyn Manson in my pocket. My mom was calling.

"Hello?" I answered flipping open my phone.

"Hi honey...how's the party?" my mom asked.

"It's alright...mom are you...crying?" I was confused. My mom was the type of person that would cry at my dance recitals or school plays, but other than that she usually held herself together.

"Sweetheart, your father's doctor has done a scan and...the cancer is worse than he thought." She could barely get the words out.

"I...how...how long?" My voice wavered as I asked the most important question

My mother's voice shook as she took in a deep breath, "Four...maybe five weeks...."

It felt like all my breath had been knocked out of me in one big blow. I said a quick goodbye to my mother and returned to the party, trying not to think about my dad's current condition. I couldn't find Adrian anywhere. I was beckoned over by a few people that also attended my school, and they asked me if I wanted to go "first". I wasn't sure what that meant until I saw a small plastic container filled with pills on the lap of one of the girls in the circle. They were ecstasy I assumed. I'd been asked to try drugs many times and many of the people in my group were often high. I had always said no- been the "good girl". But this time, I needed to be pulled away from reality, even a little. And besides, it was only this once.


End file.
